Soaring

Today would have been Trip'n Daddy's 45th birthday.  There are tons of things I could say about this, but honestly, I think he would only want me to say one thing.

For his 40th birthday, I made Trip'n Daddy a birthday party in our Succah. Surrounded by family and close friends, I gave him what was probably the best present I ever gave him in all of our years together.  (In my own defense, it was impossible to buy him gifts. He never wanted anything.)

I bought him a flying lesson.

The look of sheer joy and excitement as he opened the folder is imprinted on my heart.  His "No way!" echoes in my ears.  How often do you get the chance to fulfill a loved one's dream?

That June, on a beautifully clear day, he had his lesson.

It was a once in a lifetime experience.  I am so thankful that he had the chance to do it before he left this world.

So the one thing is this: Don't wait. Work for dreams, no matter how big or small.  Make the dreams of your loved ones come true.  In short, Seize the Day.

He soared that day.  And his spirit continues to soar.

Loving Life in Israel: Raining Hope

Rain in Israel is a completely different experience than rain in New York, and probably anywhere else in the world.We pray for it, hope for it, predict it, speculate about it, celebrate it, and count every drop. There is a very specific rainy season here and deviations from it are rare.

One deviation comes with a special segulah: Rain in the month of Iyyar is supposed to be a segulah for good health. The explanation behind this belief is that the letters of Iyyar stand for:

Alef: Ani (I)
Yud, Yud: Hashem
Resh: Refoecha (is your healer)

You can read more about it here.

When it does rain in Iyyar you might see people running outside with their mouths open, trying to catch a bit of the magic.

Last year, we caught some Iyyar rain and rubbed it on Trip'n Daddy's dry lips.

(We generally hold a "You never know - it can't hurt" perspective when it comes to Segulahs)

So when reports of that rare Iyyar rain started to fill up my Facebook feed this morning, I smiled.

Because even though it didn't work for us, Iyyar rain is still special, still magical, still celebrated.

Because in Israel, every drop of rain equals a drop of hope.

Creating a New Tradition for Loss

I am now faced with the task of planning a yertzheit.

Our situation is so different than the usual memorial, since my children are so young and Trip'n Daddy was so young.

We have found comfort in rituals and traditions. I desperately want to create a tradition for their Daddy's yertzheit that will be meaningful for the Trips for years to come.

There are the regular choices from Jewish tradition that include visiting the grave, a meal, a siyyum...but I am interested in ideas that go beyond that or would make those things relevant and meaningful to 8 year olds and will continue to be as they grow.

So I am turning to you, dear family, friends, and readers for some fresh ideas. Don't be afraid to suggest things way out of the box, I am open to any and all ideas.

Crowdsourcing a yertzheit? Yeah, that sounds like me...

Playing Jenga Without You

Grief is a crazy thing. 


You can be having a regular, normal day. A great one, even. You might even be the one giving Chizuk to a friend in need. 


Then WHAM! 


It is really like being blindsided. You don't sense it coming, but when it hits, it's like being hit by a truck. 


Tonight it was a small disappointment, but it is one that makes this Jenga tower we are living on a little more unstable.  

Maybe tomorrow someone will place a piece to make it more balanced. For right now, I feel the weight of single parenting and the loss of Trip'n Daddy immensely.  He was always there.  Maybe not the best in a crisis..but there.  We would be in this together. 


Of course, it didn't help that as I am getting this piece of news the following song was playing on my iTunes DJ. (True confessions, it was the Glee version.  I had never even heard of it before Rachel sang it on Glee...)


Without You (David Guetta)
I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you


I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you


I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you


I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without.... You!
....
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you


I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here I'm paralyzed without you, without you


I can't look, I'm so blind
Lost my heart, I lost my mind without you without... You!


I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you, WITHOUT YOU

Welcome to a Brave New World

My last blog post was on April 20, 2010.  Trip'n Daddy was fighting cancer. Life was too overwhelming to blog. 


A lot has happened since then and I think it is only fair to give you a timeline before a full relaunch of this blog.


I am sure that the full story will be flushed out as I move forward on the blog. 

• Summer, 2010 - Trip'n Daddy has a successful stem cell transplant and the Trips spend 8 weeks with Saba and Savta at AM and UM
• October, 2010 - Trip'n Daddy officially loses his job, just as he gets medical clearance to return. We decide to read the signs and finally make Aliyah in July, 2011.
• February, 2011 - Final tests results indicate that Trip'n Daddy is in remission. 
• March, 2011 - We leave on a 5 week pilot trip that will include Pesach with AM and UM. Trip'n Daddy has the okay from the doctors to go.
• April 7, 2011 - Trip'n Daddy has a really bad chest cold with some breathing problems. He is admitted to Shaarei Tzedek Medical Center in Jerusalem. 
• April 8, 2011 - He is intubated, medically sedated, and moved to ICU with a nasty cases of PCP pneumonia. 
• April 14, 2011 - We officially make Aliyah. We are not returning to the U.S. 
• Rest of April -May 24, 2011 - Trip'n Daddy fights for his life, including battling 3 different types of pneumonia. His heartbeat is strong until the rest of his body gives out. 
• May 25, 2011 - Trip'n Daddy is laid to rest on Har HaMenuchot in Jerusalem.
• We start the rest of our lives. Stumbling in grief, but always looking up.

This blog is going to become something very different from what it was.  I plan on including creative writing entries along with the plain old blog posts. I know there will be tears, but I hope there will be laughs as well.

I am leaving all old posts as is, with the only differentiation being the formatting of the posts.  

Just Had to Share

I know there are many of you wondering, "What happened to Trip'n Mommy?"

There is a very long and complicated answer to that. The short answer is - Trip'n Daddy has Lymphoma. We are fighting a strong fight, and the prognosis is excellent. The Trips are managing beautifully. Please add him to your prayers and Tehillim lists - Baruch Chaim ben Rochel Leah. I feel pretty strongly that I do not want this blog to turn into a cancer blog, so I guess I'd rather just stay away. However, I promise to check in periodically, when I feel there is something I MUST share.

The following video and lyrics fall into that category. The Hebrew is beautifully simple, but I provided the translation (via Lenny Solomon of Shlock Rock fame.)

אני יהודי/ המילים

"?כששואל את עצמי "מי אני

אני קצת ספרדי, קצת אשכנזי

קצת ישראלי, טיפ טיפה גלותי

אני אולי דתי ואולי חילוני אבל ביני לביני

אני יהודי וזה ייחודי

לא טוב יותר מהאחר לא רע יותר

פשוט יהודי

לפעמים חייל, לפעמים תלמיד

יש לי המון עבר וגם רואה עתיד

לפעמים מתנגד, ולפעמים חסיד

אולי גשמי, אולי רוחני, אבל תמיד תמיד

אני יהודי וזה ייחודי

לא רע יותר, לא טוב יותר, טיפה אחר

פשוט יהודי

פתאום חזרתי מרחוק, שנוכל להיות כאן ביחד

שיהיה לי בטוח, שאחזור לצחוק, שאוכל לחיות בנחת ללא פחד

כי אני יהודי, וזה ייחודי

לא טוב יותר מהאחר, לא רע יותר

פשוט יהודי

שום דבר לא יצליח לשבור אותי אחי

הנשמה שלי היא חלק מאור עליון נצחי

לתקן את העולם - זוהי מהותי

נולדתי ככה אני יהודי

פשוט יהודי כמו בשאר הדתות

יש לי חגים, שבתות, מנהגים ומצוות

למרות שכל אחד בטוח בצדקתו

בסוף כולנו יהודים, לפני כסא כבודו

אני מאוד פוחד משנאת חינם

אוהב את ארצי ואוהב את העם

הייתי פה ושם ובכל העולם

יש לי שתי דעות על מה שתשאל וגם דעה שלישית

כי אני יהודי, וזה ייחודי

לא רע יותר, לא טוב יותר, טיפה אחר

פשוט יהודי

Ani Yehudi - Translation

When I ask myself, "Who am I?"

I'm a little Sephardi, a little Ashkenazi,

A little Israeli, a tiny drop of Galuti (exiled),

Maybe religious, maybe irreligious, but between you and me,

I'm a Jew, and that's special.

Not better than the other, not worse - simply a Jew .

Sometimes a soldier, sometimes a student,

I have a lot of past and I also see the future,

Sometimes a Mitnaged (non-chasid), and sometimes a Chassid,

Maybe materialistic and maybe spiritual, but always, always,

I'm a Jew, and that's special.

Not worse, not better, a little bit different - simply a Jew.

Suddenly I returned from afar, so we will be able to be here together,

That I will be secure, that I'll return to laugh,

That I can live comfortably and not be afraid,

Because I am a Jew, and that's special.

Not better than the other, not worse - simply a Jew .

Nothing will succeed to break me, my brother,

My soul is a part of a high external light,

To fix the world, that is my motto.

I was born like this, I am a Jew.

Simply a Jew - Like in other religions

we have: festivals, Shabbat, customs and mitzvot.

To say that everyone is sure that he is right,

At the end we're all Jewish, before the chair of His Holiness.

I am very afraid of baseless hatred,

I love my land and I love my nation,

I have been here and there and all over the world,

I have two opinions on what you will ask, and I've also got a third opinion

Because I'm a Jew, and that's special.

Not worse, not better, a little bit different - simply a Jew.


~~~~~~~~~~Update~4/22/10~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Please read more about the creation of the video over here at aish.com's Jewlarious. 

What Hump?

C came down with Scarlet Fever (which is just strep with a rash) over last Shabbat. I found the whole thing sort of disconcerting, because Friday and Shabbat he had a fever but no other real symptoms. I kept asking him what hurt and he couldn't specify. He had no appetite though. Shabbat afternoon he started complaining about the back of his neck hurting. By Sunday, he was covered in a sandpapery rash and we were off to the doctor. Scarlet Fever was the diagnosis and he started taking amoxicillin right away.

Monday, he was at Saba and Savta's while I was at work. In the middle of the day, I get a call that his neck is stiff, he is holding his head at an angle and can't move it. I called the doctor who said "Motrin and warm compresses, and check in with me later." When I got home later, I saw why Saba and Savta were slightly alarmed. C's ear was almost touching his shoulder and he was moving his whole torso to look from side to side. Tuesday morning was not much better, so we went back to the doctor.

I tried to convince C that he had a very serious condition called NintenNeck which was caused by too much time on the Wii and DSI (not to mention the Leapster and Club Penguin on Mommy and Daddy's laptop), but he didn't buy it. Even the doctor got in on it, telling him no video games of any kind for a month. C is waaay to smart for that, and didn't fall for it.

Luckily, it really just seems to be an irritated muscle from the swollen lymph nodes. Since all the other symptoms responded to the antibiotics, we are sticking with the warm compresses and Motrin. The doctor also suggested some range of motion exercises. He is slowly improving.

Meanwhile, we are getting a kick out of own little Quasimodo...or Igor. I told him that if anyone should offer to help him with that hump, he should reply "What hump?"

So in honor of C and his hump, and one of Trip'n Daddy's favorite movies:

It's been a while...

But since 2 out of 3 Trips are running a fever, it is a lazy Sunday in the Trip'n House. If this isn't a good time for an update, I don't know what is.

We are having a rough season. C had THE FLU. You know, the one that sparked the jokes about pigs flying...

Luckily, it wasn't that bad. He ran a fever for a few days, but otherwise was in great spirits. The scariest part was that since Trip'n Daddy's major health scare last spring, any minor sickness becomes a bit tricky. In the end, Thank G-d, Trip'n Daddy was diagnosed with a very treatable auto-immune disease and not the terrible disease we really thought it was. He is being treated with steroids, which is an adventure in itself. But the combination of the disease and the medication make his immune system really weak. So our pediatrician did the flu test to confirm it, and Trip'n Daddy got a round of TamiFlu.

Next, we were struck with a stomach virus. It has gone around the house starting with B, to me, to Trip'n Daddy (who of course had it the worst of any us, poor guy) then to C. Even Trouble threw up this week! Only A has been spared, but I am still waiting. It seems to have gotten eclipsed by this newest thing...

Now, A and B are running a fever, have stuffy, snotty noses, and nasty coughs. I was going to run them over to the doctor for a Flu Test, but he has taken today off (the nerve!) A strange symptom of this one is extreme talkativeness, which we are used to in A, but is really different for B. The combo of both of them is enough to give any adult a pounding headache.

Also of interest is that I have started a new job. I am working in the administrative office for a sleep away camp for Yeshivish/Bais Yaakov girls. The irony of working for a place that would not accept my daughters as campers is not lost, and some of the things I am encountering have provided much fodder for open-mouthed wonderment, snickering, and just plain confusion.

I will leave you with just one little morsel and feel free to try to explain it, because I don't get it. (Disclaimer: I am usually very tolerant of tznius rules and respect what is asked of me. But when things go from machmir to ridiculous...)

The girls are not allowed to wear skirts with back pockets...or front zippers.