I need a wife!

One of the biggest areas of tension between me and H is the management and pay of our domestic help.

We do agree that we need help, certainly to watch the kids from the time they get home until one of us gets home and to clean the bathrooms (which neither of us will do).

I need a (part-time) wife, domestic manager, homemaker, whatever you want to call her. I need someone who is going to help keep my house clean, do my laundry, keep a current shopping list (I will shop), load/run/empty my dishwashers, keep the scary things from growing in my fridge (I will cook.)

This seems reasonable to me. I work 32 hours out of the home (not including my commute!) and I am "on call" constantly. My blackberry is next to me all day Friday and Sunday (when I am not on site) and trust me, no one hesitates to call me with the most mundane, ridiculous of requests. When I get home, I want to have quality time with my kids and go to sleep. Honestly, there is not much time for much else.

Most important is that whomever we hire be exceptional with the Trips. Listen, I know how hard it is to deal with them. When people ask me "How do you do it?" I answer "I go to work." From the first time I gave three baths in a row, I knew that in order to be the best mother I could be, I was not going to be able to stay home with them full-time. Not to mention the fact that we could never afford that.

So right now we have exceptional childcare. AND she is a great cleaner as well. I think we could have a treasure on our hands. I know she needs more hours to be my "domestic assistant" and keep the house, laundry, and kids in check. She knows she needs more hours. Even H knows she needs more hours. The problem? We don't have the money to pay her for those extra hours! So H and I fight about it. I think we have to stretch to get those extra hours in so we don't live in a pigsty, or (as my girls say "Chas Ve'Shalom!") lose her. H says..."we don't have it."

I know he's right. The three yeshiva tuitions are wiping us out.

But must we be doomed to live in squalor?